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ESP 5.....

ESP 5
~ 9th to 12th of december...

~ bayu beach resort...

~ pastor victor and pastor kelly...

Well..... esp 5... pastor victor was really cool..... funny.... we had sex education.... haha..... but i enjoyed the last night the most.... i was really glad.... really happy that Jesus reminded me again how much he loved me.... how much he loved all of us..... how much he suffered..... and i will never ever understand how much pain he went through on the cross..... how he felt when even God forsaked him on the cross.... how he felt when the whole entire world turned their back against him....

Before esp..... the past one month or so.... i think...... i was begin to slide away from God..... sometimes i would miss my quiet time..... even if i did do my quiet time...... it meant nothing much..... i always forget how much Jesus loved me...... how Jesus suffered for me..... and how his heart breaks whenever i don't put him first.... whenever i tend to forget how much pain he went through just for me.....

*Sorry Jesus... i beg for your forgiveness.... thank you for dying on the cross for us.... thank you for suffering so much for me although i don't deserve it at all..... thank you for loving me just as who i am.....*

On the last day.... there was sharing..... i was really really encouraged by a girl from donno which part of malaysia..... but her sharing touched me..... it goes something like this :

I have no father.... i was adopted...... i always feel very lonely.... very depressed..... i have gone through many things.... yesterday... when i knelt before the cross..... i saw a vision.... i saw Jesus holding my hand.... we were walking on the sea shore..... and Jesus said to me :"You are not alone.... i am with you..."..... pastor victor came and prayed for me.... and he said that he saw a vision too.... he saw God holding my hand..... and he gave me a father's hug which i had never experienced before..... and now i know..... that.... eventhough i mean nothing at all to my father on earth....... but i mean EVERYTHING to my father in heaven........

Wow..... i was really touched.... because i tend to feel lonely very easily too..... even if i am in the midst of a big crowd..... and i was reminded again that Jesus will always be with me whenever i am alone..... he will sit beside me when i am down..... and i really thank Him for that........ =)

So..... esp was a great camp!!!! Yea...... oh yah....... and i was taught many times to say 'pardon?' instead of 'huh?' by ryan...... haha..... sorry ryan if i keep forgetting to say 'pardon'...... i am so used to 'huh'........ hehehehe.......